On having a son

written in fall 1970

Often I have wondered what is love
Real love, total love, selfless love
I have searched fruitlessly…

So I asked the Theologian
Who spoke of abstracts and generalities to the point of boredom

Unsatisfied I asked the Philosopher
Who spoke of grand plans and wonderful ideas till my head ached badly

Bewildered I asked my friends and cherished ones
Their mere presence came close to satisfaction
Yet I knew that in my love for them hid a shadow of selfishness

And just before I dismissed the whole idea as hopeless I asked God
And he sent me a son
And I am satisfied

written in spring 1988

He sits and computes frantically
On this beautiful Tuesday morning
A handsome young man

When he looks up he sees me smile
He does not understand the smile
Maybe someday he will

As he works I ponder his future
A future that was for so long in my hands
I realize suddenly that my influence is almost over

No longer is he a child
With those child’s problems
That I so eagerly longed to share

Soon he will be gone
He will still be son and I dad
But the world will be his to explore…alone

They all compute frantically
On this beautiful Tuesday morning
These beautiful young men and women

How they have grown…much too quickly
They will always be my children
And how I love them so